Early works 2010-2012, Hindsight & Artist Disclaimer:
At this time, the artist was bridging the sectors of design, art, and film. She was a young maker from Ohio, and had just finished design school. Essentially the film was made by a young woman from Ohio - in pain and with the obsession of her mentally ill brother. It was her attempt to make a film to communicate these thoughts (and present a critique of mental illness treatment) with her Midwestern family - and she did so in collaboration with a traditional filmmaker.From the artist "At the time, I didn't know I was an artist. All I knew was that I had something I needed to say, & to my family, and this was an outlet to do that. I was the subject as much as the maker. I made it with a filmmaker, who helped me tell my story. Video technique, video-art and art history, discourse, and art criticism was not yet in my repertoire."
(on race & whiteness):
There is a whiteness to the film - a whiteness obvious through the complete unawareness of the subject and artists' own whiteness and racial positions, politics, and discourse in this world/country. Throughout the beginning of the film, there is a discussion of eye color that ultimately shows an ignorance to the subject artists' own racial position, and unawareness to the discussion of eye color as a topic & anchor of race - specifically to POC and in context to eye color as a signifier of supremacy. This ultimately exposes the unawareness of the subject/artists/film's whiteness in the film in context of whole American culture. The mentioning of blue eyes and implications of "blue eyes" in context to the American POC community, has an anchor and trigger in means of race, supremacy, and desire. In the time of creation, the artist's use of the eyes were used in relation to the manic "crazy eye" that happens during psychotic breaks, in relation to the artist's mentally ill sibling with the same family eye-color, and to show the the window the film is seen through - the eyes of the subject/artist (be it a reliable narration or not). Many years later, the implication of highlighting the "blue eyes" in a work and the implications of this within the whole spectrum of the American culture - with racal discourse in American Culture is now every much recognized by the makers.